The Journal

Writing worth reading before you match

Practical guidance on dating across borders, cultures and families, and on staying safe while you do it.

Dating with intention

What intentional dating actually means in practice, how to say what you want without scaring people off, and why it saves time.

14 August 20264 min read

Start with a subject

Four areas that come up again and again, each with everything we have written on it in one place.

Safety and trust
Knowing who you are talking to, and meeting them safely.
5 articles
Distance and diaspora
Dating across borders, time zones and continents.
4 articles
Culture and family
Family, faith, tradition and the conversations that matter.
5 articles
Dating with intention
Looking for something serious, and finding it faster.
5 articles

Safety and trust
How to tell if someone you met online is real
Practical checks anyone can do in ten minutes to work out whether the person you are talking to is who they say they are.
11 August 20264 min read
Distance and diaspora
Dating as an African abroad
Finding a partner who understands where you come from when you live somewhere that does not, and handling the pull between two homes.
7 August 20264 min read
Dating with intention
Green flags: how to tell someone is genuinely serious
The behaviours that reliably signal someone wants a real relationship, and why they matter more than anything a person says.
4 August 20263 min read
Safety and trust
What to do if you have been scammed by someone you met online
The first steps to take after a romance scam, how to try to recover money, where to report it, and how to handle the shame that stops people acting.
31 July 20264 min read
Culture and family
Traditional marriage rites, explained
What bride price, dowry and introduction ceremonies actually involve, how much practice varies, and the questions couples should ask early.
28 July 20264 min read
Distance and diaspora
How to date across time zones without burning out
Practical ways to keep a relationship alive across a five or eight hour gap, and how to stop one person carrying all the tiredness.
24 July 20263 min read